[ cameras and interviews have never really been something raleigh's comfortable with. that feeling has grown by orders of magnitude since yancy's death. so he's very awkward up on stage, hands clammy and why can't he just shove them in his pockets again?
and then he catches sight of naomi as another reporter asks a question and his mouth goes dry. he doesn't even catch the question the man in front asked. he's too busy trying to get his breathing under control because the last time he saw naomi he was in the hospital telling her he needed some space. it broke his heart to do it, but he thought he was protecting her at the time.
she'd visited him once in the immediate aftermath and he was a wreck. he ended up sobbing into her lap until the tears and the drugs made him pass out. when it became obvious that he was going to be plagued by flashbacks, nightmares, and his head being completely out of whack for a significant amount of time, he'd left. and when he realized that it was a mistake to send her away, he thought it'd been enough time that she would've moved on. calling her didn't seem like an option even though he wanted to. never stopped wanting to, really.
it takes mako stepping on his foot and answering the question for him to snap himself back to the present. somehow, he makes it through the rest of the interview, though he's not exactly sure how. it probably has something to do with his better half standing next to him. when the thing is over, he looks at mako and the small smile spreading across her face. he knows instantly that she saw naomi too and is going to help him with the idea he's got forming in his head. how he got lucky enough to have her for a co-pilot and platonic soulmate, he's got no idea.
but he is that lucky. and mako manages to corner naomi for him so he once the throng of people are mostly gone, he can walk up to her with his hands shoved in his pockets and the most hesitant smile on his face. ]
Hey, Naomi. [ the way he looks at mako has got nothing on the way he looks at naomi. six years and he hasn't stopped loving her. ] Long time no see.
[ she's packing up and about to leave when mako mori comes up and calls her name. it's a little strange, and she feeezes in place a while, the strap of her bag not quite on her shoulder. miss mori is polite with a genuinely kind look in her eye and she tells naomi that she's read her work, and asks if she can have a moment of her time. when naomi agrees, she deliberately turns away from where raleigh and herc hansen are speaking with the secretary of state, following mako to one quiet corner of the room.
it does, truly surprise naomi when this beautiful, elegant japanese girl talks to her about her work your article circulated the shatterdome for about a week, it was a shame that sensei had not introduced us when you had come to see him in hawaii and she starts to relax after that, gets the gumption to inquire about mori-san's blue tipped bob and they're in the middle of discussing the mark 3 restoration project when movement catches on her periphery.
she doesn't breathe for a moment, her heart stuck in her throat because dammit raleigh, don't look at her like that, it's been far, far too long, and she just got engaged. ]
Hi, Raleigh. [ she can't help the way her left hand's fingers curl instinctively over the slim band sitting on her skin, a single emerald resting atop the glint of gold. ] You look good.
[ his eyes flick down to the movement of her fingers and his heart shatters. it looks like he was right. she did move on. it's a good thing, she deserves to be happy. he really wants her to be happy. but damn if it doesn't feel like a knife to the heart to see that there's someone else out there that's doing it. not him. ]
Yeah, you too. [ he swallows hard around the dryness of his throat and plasters on the same fake smile he was giving the cameras a little while earlier. ] I just--wanted to see how you were doing. Congrats, by the way. [ he nods towards the ring.
and he can pretty much hear mako's voice saying liar in his head. it takes a herculean effort to not look where she's standing a polite distance away. whether it's for a rescue or to see if she's really thinking that, he can't say. either one she'd probably be displeased with.
raleigh looks down and scratches at his nose nervously as he keeps going. he's talking about a mile a minute and it's a miracle he's not rocking back on his heels with how much he suddenly hates this conversation. ] And, uh. I wanted to apologize. For being a dick. You deserved so much better than what I did to you. So... I'm sorry. [ the smile he gives her is tremulous as his right shoulder comes up in a shrug that also makes him wince slightly. ] That's all.
[ in a public venue, with reporters around, it's probably the worst thing she could ever do because someone's going to take a picture and people are going to pry but naomi doesn't care, greg knows -- has always known, and raleigh called it quits between them years ago ( right? )
she hugs him. face pressed to his chest because she feels like she's nineteen again and rushing to his bedside. ] Don't apologize, [ it's so hard to get the words out but she tries. it's hard, not because she hasn't forgiven him because she has, wasn't even angry when he left, because she'd understood how much his brother had been his whole world. but it's hard because she hadn't missed the flash or jarred surprise in his eyes, and she wishes she weren't so certain that she is wearing the clear cause of that.
she lools up at him then, a hand lifting and then falling back down on his chest because the familiar gestures of affection that hum beneath her skin aren't theirs now, not the way they used to be. ] You did what you had to do. You don't need to apologize for that.
[ I'm sorry, babe she wishes she could say, because while the ring on her finger is not a hardship to bear, she doesn't know what else she can do to fix the look there in his eyes.
( it doesn't feel like congratulations. it feels lile her wanting to cry. ) ]
[ it takes him a minute to react to the hug. and when he does, it's just to rest shaking hands lightly on her shoulders. raleigh knows she probably means it as a comfort but it's anything but. it makes him miss her even more. the way she fits against him just sends all the memories of their time together rushing back and--
god, he loves her so much. he thought that maybe it would've faded over time, but, no. he still loves her just as much as he did the day he left and ripped what was left of his heart out to go work the wall.
she says you don't need to apologize, and he almost replies i do, because i thought about calling you so many times that i've lost count. but he can't say that. not when she's engaged. that would be so many different kinds of wrong that he doesn't even know where to begin. ] Thank you, [ he says instead. for being understanding.
he can't quite look her in the eye as he takes her hand off his chest. it almost physically pains him to do it, but he has to. he has to let her go. he has to get out of there before the fake smile drops and he says something stupid. ] I should go. It was good to see you again.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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and then he catches sight of naomi as another reporter asks a question and his mouth goes dry. he doesn't even catch the question the man in front asked. he's too busy trying to get his breathing under control because the last time he saw naomi he was in the hospital telling her he needed some space. it broke his heart to do it, but he thought he was protecting her at the time.
she'd visited him once in the immediate aftermath and he was a wreck. he ended up sobbing into her lap until the tears and the drugs made him pass out. when it became obvious that he was going to be plagued by flashbacks, nightmares, and his head being completely out of whack for a significant amount of time, he'd left. and when he realized that it was a mistake to send her away, he thought it'd been enough time that she would've moved on. calling her didn't seem like an option even though he wanted to. never stopped wanting to, really.
it takes mako stepping on his foot and answering the question for him to snap himself back to the present. somehow, he makes it through the rest of the interview, though he's not exactly sure how. it probably has something to do with his better half standing next to him. when the thing is over, he looks at mako and the small smile spreading across her face. he knows instantly that she saw naomi too and is going to help him with the idea he's got forming in his head. how he got lucky enough to have her for a co-pilot and platonic soulmate, he's got no idea.
but he is that lucky. and mako manages to corner naomi for him so he once the throng of people are mostly gone, he can walk up to her with his hands shoved in his pockets and the most hesitant smile on his face. ]
Hey, Naomi. [ the way he looks at mako has got nothing on the way he looks at naomi. six years and he hasn't stopped loving her. ] Long time no see.
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it does, truly surprise naomi when this beautiful, elegant japanese girl talks to her about her work your article circulated the shatterdome for about a week, it was a shame that sensei had not introduced us when you had come to see him in hawaii and she starts to relax after that, gets the gumption to inquire about mori-san's blue tipped bob and they're in the middle of discussing the mark 3 restoration project when movement catches on her periphery.
she doesn't breathe for a moment, her heart stuck in her throat because dammit raleigh, don't look at her like that, it's been far, far too long, and she just got engaged. ]
Hi, Raleigh. [ she can't help the way her left hand's fingers curl instinctively over the slim band sitting on her skin, a single emerald resting atop the glint of gold. ] You look good.
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Yeah, you too. [ he swallows hard around the dryness of his throat and plasters on the same fake smile he was giving the cameras a little while earlier. ] I just--wanted to see how you were doing. Congrats, by the way. [ he nods towards the ring.
and he can pretty much hear mako's voice saying liar in his head. it takes a herculean effort to not look where she's standing a polite distance away. whether it's for a rescue or to see if she's really thinking that, he can't say. either one she'd probably be displeased with.
raleigh looks down and scratches at his nose nervously as he keeps going. he's talking about a mile a minute and it's a miracle he's not rocking back on his heels with how much he suddenly hates this conversation. ] And, uh. I wanted to apologize. For being a dick. You deserved so much better than what I did to you. So... I'm sorry. [ the smile he gives her is tremulous as his right shoulder comes up in a shrug that also makes him wince slightly. ] That's all.
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she hugs him. face pressed to his chest because she feels like she's nineteen again and rushing to his bedside. ] Don't apologize, [ it's so hard to get the words out but she tries. it's hard, not because she hasn't forgiven him because she has, wasn't even angry when he left, because she'd understood how much his brother had been his whole world. but it's hard because she hadn't missed the flash or jarred surprise in his eyes, and she wishes she weren't so certain that she is wearing the clear cause of that.
she lools up at him then, a hand lifting and then falling back down on his chest because the familiar gestures of affection that hum beneath her skin aren't theirs now, not the way they used to be. ] You did what you had to do. You don't need to apologize for that.
[ I'm sorry, babe she wishes she could say, because while the ring on her finger is not a hardship to bear, she doesn't know what else she can do to fix the look there in his eyes.
( it doesn't feel like congratulations. it feels lile her wanting to cry. ) ]
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god, he loves her so much. he thought that maybe it would've faded over time, but, no. he still loves her just as much as he did the day he left and ripped what was left of his heart out to go work the wall.
she says you don't need to apologize, and he almost replies i do, because i thought about calling you so many times that i've lost count. but he can't say that. not when she's engaged. that would be so many different kinds of wrong that he doesn't even know where to begin. ] Thank you, [ he says instead. for being understanding.
he can't quite look her in the eye as he takes her hand off his chest. it almost physically pains him to do it, but he has to. he has to let her go. he has to get out of there before the fake smile drops and he says something stupid. ] I should go. It was good to see you again.