[The weight of it nearly knocks Yancy out of the handshake entirely, nearly sets off the panic center of his brain because oh god he didn't think it was this bad, had no idea, was so selfish and a panic attack is a surefire way to break a neural connection.
In case you ever wanted to know.
Instead he holds Raleigh's hand tighter, because he's a Ranger for fuck's sake and he can handle this, he can do this. They were picked out of hundreds of people and they are the Becket brothers and wasn't everyone always saying he was a natural at Drifting? That seems like such a laugh now.
Yancy does stagger a little when it's over and he's silent for longer than it took Raleigh to show him everything but time doesn't make any sense in the neural space. There is no time, it's just them, it could have just been a couple of seconds on the outside.
And then he looks at Raleigh and tips his head slightly, i'll show you mine if you want]
[ he's glad that yancy has a good grip on his hand. it makes it easier to deal with everything. the pain, the guilt... yancy is, as ever, his anchor. the thing that keeps him steady. and it's reassuring that even though he's doing this thing he really doesn't want to, yance is still there with him.
for a brief second, he wonders what this must look like to loccent. they're obvious in sync but they're so far down the rabbit hole with no idea how time is passing. they're luck they're not actually in a jaeger for this.
in response to the silent question, raleigh gives yancy's hand a squeeze. only if you want to. but he's curious as to what could have kept his brother away for so long. ]
[No, he doesn't really want to show Raleigh it but he understands that he has to, if this is going to work, if they're ever going to make it back towards normal. It can't just be Yancy protecting his little brother from all the bad things in the world anymore, because newsflash: Raleigh's been through hell.
Yancy tightens his grip on Raleigh for a second, taking a breath and then plunging in--
how'd your date with alison go-- holy shit it's cold why it is so cold why am i wearing this fucking thing oh god i'm going to be sick--beep beep beep-- doctor i think we need you in here-- where are you from? what's your name? it's okay, you can talk to me i'm john smith and i'm a fisherman from fairbanks-- raleigh raleigh raleigh did you survive holy shit you did how did you get our girl back on your own-- you haven't been sleeping yeah so?-- can't go to raleigh, don't even know where to find him-- shit he's just like dad, no he's worse than dad because he promised he'd never leave but here he is turning the other way-- takes up fishing because he actually doesn't have a single clue of what else to do-- a televised kaiju attack has him holing up in the bathroom, his head between his knees and his hands over his ears-- don't you have any family john? or friends no i don't-- watching a jaeger fall on tv and he throws up his lunch and his dinner-- and another and another like dominoes and he breaks his tv one night to make it stop-- then pitfall, then watching from the air as raleigh and mako cling to each other-- what's changed now, he's not jealous, he's scared and ashamed but he's buying a ticket to Hong Kong anyway
They're just in the headspace but he's still gripping Raleigh's hand enough to bruise.]
[ looks like he was right. yancy did go through hell when he was away. in headspace, raleigh uses the grip on his hand to tug his brother into a tight hug. after chasing the rabbits from hell, they could both use one.
sorry that looked like it sucked but it's okay you don't have to worry about me or what i went through i'm okay now and there's no getting rid of me no matter what you think you did you're not like dad you came back that's what matters don't feel guilty
back in reality, raleigh opens his eyes and looks over at yancy. in the background, he can hear tendo and mako breathing a sigh of relief as he smiles over at yance and reaches out to hold on to his physical hand. ]
[Yancy only seems to remember that the LOCCENT is even there when they start to come out of the rabbit hole, and he wonders how long they were under or if the guys even noticed and they're just relieved because they didn't kill each other with this experiment or send one of them to the hospital with a seizure.
It's happened, from what he remembers from Kodiak.]
Your head's just as awful as ever, kid.
[He's joking, he's teasing Raleigh like they used to hey kid? don't get cocky? age before beauty, old man and he turns his hand to grasp Raleigh's back.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
but i love it :c
In case you ever wanted to know.
Instead he holds Raleigh's hand tighter, because he's a Ranger for fuck's sake and he can handle this, he can do this. They were picked out of hundreds of people and they are the Becket brothers and wasn't everyone always saying he was a natural at Drifting? That seems like such a laugh now.
Yancy does stagger a little when it's over and he's silent for longer than it took Raleigh to show him everything but time doesn't make any sense in the neural space. There is no time, it's just them, it could have just been a couple of seconds on the outside.
And then he looks at Raleigh and tips his head slightly, i'll show you mine if you want]
well i'm glad you do
for a brief second, he wonders what this must look like to loccent. they're obvious in sync but they're so far down the rabbit hole with no idea how time is passing. they're luck they're not actually in a jaeger for this.
in response to the silent question, raleigh gives yancy's hand a squeeze. only if you want to. but he's curious as to what could have kept his brother away for so long. ]
no subject
Yancy tightens his grip on Raleigh for a second, taking a breath and then plunging in--
how'd your date with alison go-- holy shit it's cold why it is so cold why am i wearing this fucking thing oh god i'm going to be sick--beep beep beep-- doctor i think we need you in here-- where are you from? what's your name? it's okay, you can talk to me i'm john smith and i'm a fisherman from fairbanks-- raleigh raleigh raleigh did you survive holy shit you did how did you get our girl back on your own-- you haven't been sleeping yeah so?-- can't go to raleigh, don't even know where to find him-- shit he's just like dad, no he's worse than dad because he promised he'd never leave but here he is turning the other way-- takes up fishing because he actually doesn't have a single clue of what else to do-- a televised kaiju attack has him holing up in the bathroom, his head between his knees and his hands over his ears-- don't you have any family john? or friends no i don't-- watching a jaeger fall on tv and he throws up his lunch and his dinner-- and another and another like dominoes and he breaks his tv one night to make it stop-- then pitfall, then watching from the air as raleigh and mako cling to each other-- what's changed now, he's not jealous, he's scared and ashamed but he's buying a ticket to Hong Kong anyway
They're just in the headspace but he's still gripping Raleigh's hand enough to bruise.]
no subject
sorry that looked like it sucked but it's okay you don't have to worry about me or what i went through i'm okay now and there's no getting rid of me no matter what you think you did you're not like dad you came back that's what matters don't feel guilty
back in reality, raleigh opens his eyes and looks over at yancy. in the background, he can hear tendo and mako breathing a sigh of relief as he smiles over at yance and reaches out to hold on to his physical hand. ]
no subject
It's happened, from what he remembers from Kodiak.]
Your head's just as awful as ever, kid.
[He's joking, he's teasing Raleigh like they used to hey kid? don't get cocky? age before beauty, old man and he turns his hand to grasp Raleigh's back.]