[Yancy Becket doesn't make his way back to the Shatterdome that night. He doesn't sleep with the blonde across the bar either, for the record, though he thought about it for a while after Raleigh walked away from him (that was twice in one day that Raleigh turned his back on him and he wonders if they can come back from that) and he ended up talking to her for about an hour, about nothing in particular, just chatter to take his mind off what a mess his life is right now. But in the end, he smiled at her and got her number just in case and sent her on her way.
He stays at the bar until the owner makes him leave and it's like three in the morning at that point, and he should go home but home is his bunk that he shares with Raleigh and he doesn't know how to fix that relationship right now anymore than he has any idea on how to fix what he did to Tendo. And it is possible for him to feel more guilty than he was, it turns out because he snapped at Raleigh and took his mood out on him, and the kid was just trying to look out for him even though he was super pissed. Because they're brothers and co-pilots and Raleigh's a good kid and loyal to his last bone.
So the bunk's out and it's too fucking cold to sit at the beach and watch the sunrise or something angsty like that and Yancy ends up in Gipsy's hanger without ever making the conscious decision to go there. The place is deserted, because no one has any business being down by the Jaeger at this time of day if there's no kaiju so it's actually kind of perfect. He picks a spot on some of the scaffolding near her chest, and watches her for a while, starts to talk to her a little bit too because he's still drunk or something but laying his troubles on his favorite girl is cathartic in a way.]
[ when he leaves the bar, raleigh is determined to not see yancy again until morning. he doesn't want to be around when yance comes back. which, of course, means that he has to find some place other than the bunk to spend the night. company is something he'd really like to avoid at the moment, so he starts off by hiding in a rarely-used room in the shatterdome. but that leaves an itch of unfamiliarity in him, like he can't get comfortable, so he goes elsewhere. ends up in gipsy's hangar, up on the scaffolding near her head.
an hour or two after he gets there, he hears yancy start talking, and it startles him out of the light doze he'd fallen into. he doesn't know if it's coincidence or the tugging in their heads left over from the drift that brought his big brother here, he just knows he's really pissed his plan to avoid him didn't work.
but then he starts listening to what yancy's saying, and he softens a bit. instead of the hurricane of a bad mood that's been following him since the bar, the anger turns into a banked fire--it could easily reignite, but for now it's calm. raleigh waits until there's a natural lull in yancy's rambling to move from his bit of scaffolding down to his brother's. and when he's there, he takes a moment to look at yance. with a slightly wry smile, he sits and gently tugs at his brother, trying to get his head to rest on raleigh's shoulder, hoping he's drunk enough for the move to work. it's a position they've been in before, but usually their places are reversed. ]
[Of course Raleigh drew him here, it makes perfect sense when his brother drops down next to him. He manages something like a laugh and leans into Raleigh when he's nudged, tired and drunk and sorry enough that he doesn't want to fight him on it.
He is a fucking mess. But he's got his brother and their girl and the kaiju and Marshal Pentecost won't give a fuck how guilty he's feeling over something if they're needed to step up and save the day.]
[ raleigh huffs out a laugh that's not entirely amused and runs his fingers through yancy's hair. he's so totally not surprised that an apology is the first thing out of his brother's mouth. of course he's sorry. of course he's feeling so fucking guilty he's making people take it out on him. he knows exactly what he did and what he could've lost.
that should make it harder to let it go. but yance is his co-pilot. raleigh knows exactly what's going on in that brain of his, and that makes it easier to drop a kiss on the top of his head and say, ] I know, it's okay. I forgive you.
[The total role reversal here is not lost on Yancy and how he's normally the one pulling Raleigh in for a hug and playing with his hair to calm him down. He did it when Dad left and when Mom died and part of him is really against the idea of his little brother taking care of him because it's supposed to be the other way around.
But he's mostly okay with his co-pilot letting him lean on him.]
Thanks, kid. [He doesn't ask if it's for being an asshole to him or for betraying their friend's trust or betraying Raleigh's trust. Doesn't need to. If Raleigh says he forgives him, it's for everything. It's not gone, what he did but it's not the end of everything either. He just needs to fogure out where all the pieces have fallen.]
[ while raleigh would get that if yancy voiced it--he's been in yancy's head, he knows exactly how he views being a big brother--he would also be a little offended. because while most of the time he's completely okay with yancy being the caretaker of the two of them, they're co-pilots. that means raleigh is supposed to have yancy's back just as much as yancy has his. the fact that yancy hardly ever lets him do that is infuriating sometimes. ]
Enough. [ a beat, and he amends: ] Everything, really.
[ it hurt his heart to hear. really, yancy's just laying in the bed he made, but it's hard to not have sympathy for him when he's such a miserable mess. raleigh sighs softly and holds on a little tighter. ]
It's not gonna be this shitty and fucked up forever.
[Realistically, Yancy knows that it can't be like this forever. Either Tendo will forgive him or he won't. Either he'll get over Alison or he won't. Something will have to change with time and he'll adapt and make his peace as best he can. He did when Dad left and Mom died and those were pretty shitty times too, this time just feels exceptionally shitty because he did it to himself.
Can't blame anyone for this one, not that he didn't much finger pointing before.
He nods slightly and leans more of his weight into Raleigh.]
[ raleigh really doesn't think alison and tendo are going to get divorced. the two of them are so sickeningly in love sometimes it seems impossible. even recently, which he's assuming was after yancy and alison had slept together, they were ridiculous.
but he does realize saying that probably isn't going to help yancy, so instead he goes with ] Then we deal with the fallout and move on.
[ we because even if he's still a little pissed about all this, they're brothers and co-pilots. if raleigh's going to have anyone's back in this ( and he really, really, really doesn't want to, for the record ) it's going to be yancy's. ]
[Yeah well if they were so sickeningly in love, it wouldn't have mattered what Yancy felt for her or wanted because she wouldn't have looked at him twice. Except that she did and he looked back and wasn't strong enough to stop.]
[Yancy laughs and shoves him off at the same time. He knows Raleigh better than anyone and he knew that was coming and he's grateful to his brother for doing it because it actually manages to cheer him up a little.]
[ oh, good. it worked. raleigh leans back with a little laugh of his own, still sticking close to yancy even if he's not being overly physically affectionate anymore. even though they're acting a little closer to normal now, he's still a little worried. ]
I totally know what zen means. [ wait for it... ] I've seen more martial arts movies than you.
How did I end up with such an idiot for a co-pilot anyway?
[But he's saying that with love and what can only be called an affectionate smack to the back of his head and he's pretty sure that Raleigh is joking but on the off chance he isn't... well he still loves you, kid.]
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casually taking over more
[Yancy Becket doesn't make his way back to the Shatterdome that night. He doesn't sleep with the blonde across the bar either, for the record, though he thought about it for a while after Raleigh walked away from him (that was twice in one day that Raleigh turned his back on him and he wonders if they can come back from that) and he ended up talking to her for about an hour, about nothing in particular, just chatter to take his mind off what a mess his life is right now. But in the end, he smiled at her and got her number just in case and sent her on her way.
He stays at the bar until the owner makes him leave and it's like three in the morning at that point, and he should go home but home is his bunk that he shares with Raleigh and he doesn't know how to fix that relationship right now anymore than he has any idea on how to fix what he did to Tendo. And it is possible for him to feel more guilty than he was, it turns out because he snapped at Raleigh and took his mood out on him, and the kid was just trying to look out for him even though he was super pissed. Because they're brothers and co-pilots and Raleigh's a good kid and loyal to his last bone.
So the bunk's out and it's too fucking cold to sit at the beach and watch the sunrise or something angsty like that and Yancy ends up in Gipsy's hanger without ever making the conscious decision to go there. The place is deserted, because no one has any business being down by the Jaeger at this time of day if there's no kaiju so it's actually kind of perfect. He picks a spot on some of the scaffolding near her chest, and watches her for a while, starts to talk to her a little bit too because he's still drunk or something but laying his troubles on his favorite girl is cathartic in a way.]
chinhands
an hour or two after he gets there, he hears yancy start talking, and it startles him out of the light doze he'd fallen into. he doesn't know if it's coincidence or the tugging in their heads left over from the drift that brought his big brother here, he just knows he's really pissed his plan to avoid him didn't work.
but then he starts listening to what yancy's saying, and he softens a bit. instead of the hurricane of a bad mood that's been following him since the bar, the anger turns into a banked fire--it could easily reignite, but for now it's calm. raleigh waits until there's a natural lull in yancy's rambling to move from his bit of scaffolding down to his brother's. and when he's there, he takes a moment to look at yance. with a slightly wry smile, he sits and gently tugs at his brother, trying to get his head to rest on raleigh's shoulder, hoping he's drunk enough for the move to work. it's a position they've been in before, but usually their places are reversed. ]
You are a fucking mess.
ilu
He is a fucking mess. But he's got his brother and their girl and the kaiju and Marshal Pentecost won't give a fuck how guilty he's feeling over something if they're needed to step up and save the day.]
I'm sorry, kid.
ilu2
that should make it harder to let it go. but yance is his co-pilot. raleigh knows exactly what's going on in that brain of his, and that makes it easier to drop a kiss on the top of his head and say, ] I know, it's okay. I forgive you.
ilumoar
But he's mostly okay with his co-pilot letting him lean on him.]
Thanks, kid. [He doesn't ask if it's for being an asshole to him or for betraying their friend's trust or betraying Raleigh's trust. Doesn't need to. If Raleigh says he forgives him, it's for everything. It's not gone, what he did but it's not the end of everything either. He just needs to fogure out where all the pieces have fallen.]
How much did you hear?
impossible
Enough. [ a beat, and he amends: ] Everything, really.
[ it hurt his heart to hear. really, yancy's just laying in the bed he made, but it's hard to not have sympathy for him when he's such a miserable mess. raleigh sighs softly and holds on a little tighter. ]
It's not gonna be this shitty and fucked up forever.
no ilu x infinity!!
Can't blame anyone for this one, not that he didn't much finger pointing before.
He nods slightly and leans more of his weight into Raleigh.]
Shit, Raleigh, what if they get divorced?
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but he does realize saying that probably isn't going to help yancy, so instead he goes with ] Then we deal with the fallout and move on.
[ we because even if he's still a little pissed about all this, they're brothers and co-pilots. if raleigh's going to have anyone's back in this ( and he really, really, really doesn't want to, for the record ) it's going to be yancy's. ]
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When did you get so zen anyway?
[He loves you, kid. He really does.]
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[ if you don't think he's not going to take this opportunity to noogie the shit out of his brother, you don't know raleigh very well. ]
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You don't even know the meaning of the word zen.
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I totally know what zen means. [ wait for it... ] I've seen more martial arts movies than you.
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[But he's saying that with love and what can only be called an affectionate smack to the back of his head and he's pretty sure that Raleigh is joking but on the off chance he isn't... well he still loves you, kid.]