[ raleigh can't meet her gaze. he shakes his head a little as he curls himself around naomi even more. talking would mean having to figure out how to verbalize everything that's going on in his head and he's not sure he's up to that right now. not when he's starting to tremble in her arms. it's hard to tell if it's from the cold or how shaken up he still is from that dream. either way, he's shaking like a leaf as he presses a kiss to her cheek and drops his head back down to her shoulder. ]
I can't. I just-- [ he breathes in through his nose a little noisily. holds it for a count of four. exhales slowly. naomi was never in love with his brother, but it still feels wrong somehow to tell her all about what could've been his last moments. might not be, probably aren't, but could've been. ] It was just a really shitty dream.
[ and he didn't want yancy to see him shiver. to hear the way his voice goes tight and hoarse like he might cry for the loss all over again. but it's been eight years. raleigh is, for the most part, screamed and cried out. he's rebuilt himself up into a mostly-together whole. but there's something about being on the beach on leap year for the first time since he collapsed a scant few miles away that brings it all rushing back. ]
I just miss him. [ even though he's got mako, and the chois, and his girls, even though they fill him up with so much love that he thinks some days that he's going to explode from it all... he still misses his brother something fierce. it's not something he thinks about constantly, but almost daily there's a thought of i wish i could tell yance about this, or he would've loved to have seen that. and it hurts. ]
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I can't. I just-- [ he breathes in through his nose a little noisily. holds it for a count of four. exhales slowly. naomi was never in love with his brother, but it still feels wrong somehow to tell her all about what could've been his last moments. might not be, probably aren't, but could've been. ] It was just a really shitty dream.
[ and he didn't want yancy to see him shiver. to hear the way his voice goes tight and hoarse like he might cry for the loss all over again. but it's been eight years. raleigh is, for the most part, screamed and cried out. he's rebuilt himself up into a mostly-together whole. but there's something about being on the beach on leap year for the first time since he collapsed a scant few miles away that brings it all rushing back. ]
I just miss him. [ even though he's got mako, and the chois, and his girls, even though they fill him up with so much love that he thinks some days that he's going to explode from it all... he still misses his brother something fierce. it's not something he thinks about constantly, but almost daily there's a thought of i wish i could tell yance about this, or he would've loved to have seen that. and it hurts. ]